Howdy Folks
My name is Ralph Reddneck, and I'm what you'd call a good old boy. Ah reckon I am. Sometimes I drive an 18 wheeler and sometimes I hang sheetrock. I guess I'm what you'd call a jack-off of all trades. Ah reckon I am.
And when I'm not working, if I have mah druthers, I'm hunting or I'm fishing. Hunting and fishing builds up your reckoning power, cause it learns you that life is about critters eating other critters. With that kind of sound reckoning, you ain't likely to get the wool pulled over your eyes too often. Ah don't reckon you are.That was Elvis Presley's problem. He spent too much time with his mama, when he should have been out with his pa, blowing the balls of of critters. Ah reckon he should.
School learns you the three Rs,but the fourth R, reckoning. you get that from hunting and fishing. That's why you see some of them there city slickers been to all kind of colleges and universities .;and they ain't got the reckoning power to slop the pigs. Ah don't reckon they do.
Show me a guy who don't like hunting and fishing, and I'll show you a commy fag every time.Them there commy fags would like to put the boll weevil on the endangered species list. Ah reckon they would.Them there commy fags are behind women's lib, too. They don't have to live with em. Ah don't reckon they do. Life being a bitch ain't good enough for the commy fag. Ah don't reckon it is.
Now us good old boys can't begin to understand the commy fag way of reckoning. Ah don't reckon we can. That's why the government had J. Edgar Hoover on the government payroll for so long, hunting down commmy fags, Now I reckon J. Edgar Hoover was what you'd call an anti-commy fag. Ah reckon he was. Ah reckon it takes one to catch one. You fight fire with fire; and you fight commy fags with anti-commy fags.Ah reckon you do.
Now some folks might think I've always been a stick in the mud redneck. That's far from the truth. Back when I was wet behind the ears; I grew my hair out long, I smoked that there mariuana. Hell I even took some of that crazy LSD. Ah started loving everybody and everything; but I got my heart broke so much, ; I had to get back to hunting and fishing to get my reckoning power back. Ah reckon I did.
Now a lot of years done come and gone since them there days, and a lot of wives done come and gone too. If you hear some of my ex-wives tell it , you'd think I was some sort of a monster or something. Ah reckon you would. But I just learned from the school of hard knocks that women are just like any other critter. You don't keep em fenced in; they're gonna become "wild things". Ah reckon they will.So you can't let yourself get too sentimental about your old lady, or you'll hold back knocking their teeth out Ah reckon you will.
I was just saying too my brother, Jed, the other day that it was a goldourn shame a man can't get along with his wife like he can with his hound dog. Now a hound dog is a damn sight more loyal than a woman and I reckon they got more reckoning power too. But women usually smell better, so I guess it's a toss up. I reckon it is.
So I want all of you good folks to visit this here website, and Email me with your questions and your comments. This here website is all about living right and living free. I'll learn you to stump-train sheep, how to make corn liquor, and how to hide your still from the goldourn revenuers.
As long as us good old boys got our guns and our reckoning power, we got a chance. May the good Lord bless each and every one of you, and if you get a chance beat up a commy fag for Ralph Redneck..
Ralph's take on FAMILY VALUES
E-MAIL RALPH
Ralph Video Clip
