Praise the Lord
May God bless you and have mercy on your sinful souls; because you are all sinners in the eyes of the Reverend Billy Bogus. Praise the Lord.
I haven't always been the Reverend Billy Bogus. Seven years ago, I wasn't even a reverend; but I must admit I was very bogus.Would you believe that I was a bogus, crooked used car salesman in Poontang , Mississipi, whose only interest in life was money and sex? And I did whatever was necesary to obtain them, including lying and jacking-off. A lot of lying and a hell of a lot of jacking-off. One night while lying in bed jacking-off to a gospel TV show, the Good Lord saved me. In a flash, He showed me that every time I beat-off, I put another nail in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Praise the Lord. I also realized that although jacking-off is a hell of a lot of fun, there is one hell of a price to pay, Eternal hellfire and damnation. Praise the Lord.
The very next day I founded M.A.M. MAM stands for "Mothers Against Masturbation".Masturbation, self gratification, self stimulation, the fondling of one's own private parts for sexual pleasure.Praise the Lord.
I encouraged the mothers of America to march into their children's
bedrooms, yank up the covers, and see for themselves, what their
little darlings were up to. What they saw shocked them . It was
not a pretty sight. But it was far better to be shocked, than
to have their own children burning in hell for all eternity.
Then I found out that you women, even you mothers were yourselves a bunch of Goddamn jack-offs. I was particularly concerned that so many of you mothers were addicted to self abuse.How can a Goddamned jack-off teach anybody else family values. Praise the Lord.I spent several days praying over this matter, until the Good Lord appeared to me and inspired me to found D.A.M. That's "Daughters Addicted to Masturbation".
So I'm encouraging all of you women to E-mail me and tell me your problems with masturbation.Whether you suspect your children are jacking-off, or even if you yourself are addicted to this evil vice, I can be of service to you. If you want to join M.A.M."Mothers Against Masturbation", I'll be glad to march with you into your children's bedrooms and catch the little jackoffs with their pants down.I can assure you that there are billions of souls burning in hell for all eternity, who wish to hell that their mothers had caught them jacking-off as kids and scared the hell out of them.If they had had the hell scared out of them then , they wouldn't be roasting their rumps off now.Praise the Lord.If you want to join D.A.M."Daughters Addicted to Masturbation; I will personally guarantee to do my "damndest" to lick your masturbation problem. I love to lick women's masturbation problems, be they big or small ; I love to lick em all. Praise the Lord.
A young woman told me the other day"Reverend Billy, I can lick my own masturbation problem".Do you know what I told that young masturbating woman? I said" I'd like to see that".But let's hope she can, because if you women think you can continue to practice self abuse and escape eternal hellfire and damnation, you are in for one hell of a let down. A lot of psychologist and sex therapists are saying, "Masturbation is normal". So is going to hell. It is normally about a trillion degrees centigrade. Praise the Lord.Remember, if you jack-off on Jesus, he'll jack-off on you. Praise the Lord.
I'm glad to have this chance to talk honestly with you Goddamned jack-offs. Please, for the love of God ; don't trust your masturbation problems to phonies. I hate to say this, but there are a lot of guys going around these days calling themselves preachers, who are nothing but a bunch of bogus phonies.They are wolves in sheeps clothing. They're just out to get your money and whatever else they can get.But the Reverend Billy Bogus is genuinely interested in masturbating women.I wake up in the morning thinking about masturbating women. During the day the Good Lord sends me visions of masturbating women.And when I go to sleep at night, I dream of masturbating women.Praise the Lord.
So i've got to go now and save some souls and lick some masturbation
problems. But keep checking out my website for new developements
in my crusade against masturbation..
So I would like to encourage you masturbating women to Email me pictures of yourself masturbating, any sexual fantasies you use while you are masturbating, and any other details which will help me to lick your masturbation problem; and save you from eternal hellfire and damnation.. I am particularly interested in hearing from any women who have sexual fantasies of me, which you use while masturbating.
So please, lets get together to beat the hell out of beating-off; and help bring my dream into reality, America, masturbation free in 2003 self abuse exists no more by 2004, keep the dream alive through 2005, don't play with your dicks all 2006 and by 2007 we'll all go to heaven.
Praise the Lord.
